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Confused and Seeking help

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2Report
at 4 Dec 2007: 21:05

I experienced the same type of situation (briefly) when I was about 14 or 15; all I can say is that you are probably nominally bi-sexual but lean very far toward the heterosexual end of the spectrum. Give the wiki on "Kinsey scale" to see where I'm coming from.

It's okay to like male bodies but find females more desirable as spouses; just take care that you don't try to fool yourself in any way and wind up sleeping with somebody you don't want to, or "getting serious" with somebody you don't want to.

As far as not finding humans attractive, my advice would be to take a break from furry porn, replace it with some other habit (walks, weight lifting, whatever) and then give "real" porn a try. youporn.com would be a good place to start. You're probably just a little warped from indulging in the fetish too much; nothing serious. Just take a little time to reset.

As for my own sexuality, I place myself at about a 2.3 on the Kinsey scale. I agree with you that labels such as gay, straight, etc. aren't really descriptive enough.

3Report
at 4 Dec 2007: 23:36

Wow, this is either perfect timing or you read my mind. I'm in the exact same boat. For years now I've been trying to ignore this part of me that thought I was attracted to other guys; I just told myself it was a "phase" or that I was just curious or what not, but the past few months (and especially the past week) I have no longer been able to push it away. I finally realize that I'm bisexual. Since I've come to this realization (and also that I'm a furry), I've been extremely distraught over what to do. I can't concentrate anymore and find it difficult to cope. People still aren't very tolerant of homosexuality and even LESS tolerant of furries, and I'm especially not going to tell my family since they would shun me. I have, however, found some places on the net that talk about this situation and I believe the first step, besides realizing it, is to talk about it with someone. Anyone. Preferably others like yourself. I have a gay roommate up here at college. I'm not ready yet to talk to him about it because I still don't know him very well, but I know I can probably start to feel better by opening up to others that have fully embraced their sexual identity. Oh and I'm 23 y/o, in case that matters any.

Sorry for the long-winded response :-)

4Report
at 5 Dec 2007: 00:03

One thing that's come to my mind, when you said the word "phase," is that many "bisexuals" actually do experience their urges in shifts. That is, you'll prefer male bodies for a week or two, then be more interested in females, and so on.

5Report
at 5 Dec 2007: 00:31

well see I tried thinking about it that way as well, but then that would be called "lust" not really bisexuality. I remember reading an article awhile back made by a homosexual that said that in their eyes, if you simply are seeking sexual/physical pleasure in the same sex, it's more just lust than anything else. If you can actually imagine/envision/see yourself as having an actual "relationship" with someone of the same sex, then it's more likely you are a true homosexual (no negative connotations intended). I started out at first as just being "physically attracted" to members of the same sex but then it grew over time, and the more I tried to ignore it the harder it got, until a few months ago (and as I said especially this week) when I just suddenly broke down and couldn't take it anymore. I knew that I was actually willing to hang out with and, if circumstances were just right, be "involved" with someone of the same sex. Believe me I'd love to just say it's a passing urge like it used to be but it isn't anymore...

6Report
at 5 Dec 2007: 01:28

>>5

Well, lust in that regard is a normal human emotion. There's no reason to think that just because you like guys' bodies means you'd want a relationship with a guy that would be more than platonic or erotic.

That's not to say that I'm denying your ability/want/need to forge a relationship with another guy or anything like that- just don't let any person tell you that if you have the physical urges you also have the desire for a relationship. It isn't necessarily so, and it's entirely up for you to decide for yourself.

That said, I can think of two pieces of advice for you.

My first advice would be for you to try to be pragmatic. Which course of action do you think would cause you the least grief/most relief? If you don't think it'll make you miserable, try experimenting. Go out on a date, maybe?

Second, drop the label "bisexual" and just figure out where you are on the kinsey scale. You'll be much clearer on things without sealing yourself into a category.

7Report (sage)
at 5 Dec 2007: 04:01

if you're enjoying male porn , it makes no doubts that you are homosexual.

8Report
at 5 Dec 2007: 05:36

>>7
You obviously are missing the whole point of this discussion.

9Report
at 5 Dec 2007: 09:34

>>6
Oh I agree, and like I said at first it was just lust, a normal human emotion. Then it went to wanting a relationship but only on a purely erotic or even platonic level. THEN it got to where I began to think about it more indepth and such and it became more than just physical urges, but, with all that said, I decided to psychoanalyze myself (obviously ridiculous by all medical purposes for a patient to diagnose oneself, but then again I've never been wrong when it comes to my own personal diagnoses, heh), and I believe the reason why all of this has suddenly come to a "boil" as it were, is because I'm just feeling generally depressed and lonely, and as such, am "reaching out" to any source of intimacy I can find. I'm sure that if I ever got into a serious relationship with a woman the rest would eventually subside. Which leads me to your two pieces of advice:

1.) I would love to, but I can't even get a date with the female gender, heh. That's part of the reason I suppose, is that in 23 years (and even being a Senior living on campus at a university) I have never, not once, had a date. Yeah. Loser perhaps, but it explains why I feel the way I do.

2.) Not really sure what you mean by this? Kinsey scale? -Googles- Oh, I see. Well, not really sure how the grading scale works exactly but if I had to venture a guess I'd say I'm about a 2 or a 3.

>>7 >>8

lol, true, but I laughed anyway.

10Report
at 5 Dec 2007: 10:20

>>7

But, what are you called if you like female porn, too? Or if you enjoy them both but like one more than the other? To just be called 'straight' or 'gay' or 'bisexual,' where it's an even split, might be apt descriptions for some but for others they aren't entirely accurate. They might even be mis-characterizations if you throw in the stereotypes and stigmas.


>>9

I see. I can't really tell you anything more to do than that, though; you don't necessarily need to try for a date but you probably need more social contact.

11Report
at 5 Dec 2007: 11:28

Oh I agree. I am doing that as we speak. Becoming more involved in RSO's on campus and such. I imagine the situation isn't/wasn't nearly as bad as it seemed to me at the time it's just that it all hit me almost kinda suddenly and overwhelmed me. As I stated before just talking about the issue with others is a very important and almost therapeutic step. So, with that said, I'll just accept that I am mostly heterosexual with homosexual tendencies and whether that plays out more prominently only time will tell. Thanks all :-)

12Report
FurryFox at 5 Dec 2007: 17:03

http://fchan.me/read.php/dis/1191290503/l40

maybe this will help a little, old thread i remember reading..prob some of the same points, but just read it and see how u feel after
haha
helped me
,,,^_^,,,

13Report
at 5 Dec 2007: 18:17

You know actually that did somewhat help, thank you :-)

I suppose the more I reflect on it the more I realize it really isn't human males after all that got me to thinking about all of this, but furry males. I'm still not entirely convinced that I'm just "bisexual" in the "furry" sense, but I'm all set to go with the flow on this and just not worry about it as much. It helps to know there are others out there like me. Thanks again.

14Report
FurryFox at 5 Dec 2007: 19:30

cool..i helped..in a way :p yay

15Report
at 5 Dec 2007: 23:43

I feel like my thread has been hi-jacked.

16Report
at 5 Dec 2007: 23:46

I just realized that lost post didn't make any sense. I'm the person who posted this thread. What I'm trying to say is that this  thread has moved away from my original post.

17Report
at 6 Dec 2007: 00:11

>>16  

Ha ha! Sorry, I did wonder about that, although the other fellow had pretty much the same questions as you. In all likelihood you're attracted to the male physical body but are probably more inclined to go looking for a female as a mate. Nothing wrong with that. Guys that find only find other guys attractive if they're furries are actually fairly common in the fandom.

Like I said before, you'd probably be better off thinking in terms of the Kinsey scale or with a Klein Grid than in terms of discrete labels.

18Report
at 6 Dec 2007: 04:26

The majority of the "fandom" is gay. You're just another random default furry ;)

19Report
at 6 Dec 2007: 13:57

>>18  The majority is homosexual or at least primarily homosexual, no question. Still, people like the OP aren't rare.

20Report (sage)
at 6 Dec 2007: 21:37

>>18
>>19
Bullshit.  Please quit spreading unfounded bullshit as if it was 'fact' plz. 

21Report
at 7 Dec 2007: 04:27

>>20

So you're trying to tell me that homosexual furries state a minority? Try to proof that :D

The vast majority of furries on cons are male, the vast majority of furries visitng cons have sex that evening with other furries visiting the cons and because we already know that there only guys that means that guys will have sex with guys. And as far as I know that means they're gay. Oh wait, they're just curious...

The vast majority of people I know calling themselves "Furry" are gays. The vast majority of everyone I know who knows people who call themselves "Furry" are gays.

Gay drawings state at least 70% of stuff on fchan. The same goes for every other furry imageboard with pornographic content, as long as it's not specialized in straight or female themes.

I'm not homophobe, but I won't change my statement. ;)

22Report
at 7 Dec 2007: 10:45

>>21

Studies would prove otherwise. Most are bi, not gay.

Also, most of /f is frequented by straight and/or bi individuals. So add the posts of /f to that of /s and it exceeds that of /m. Then add the people from /m who are bi, not gay, and gay furries on Fchan are clearly the minority.

23Report
at 7 Dec 2007: 13:46

Actually some studies show a majority to be bisexaul and others show them to be gay, either way it depends on who you poll and when. I don't think it's completely far-fetched to assume the majority of fchan.meers are either bisexual or homosexual.

who cares anyway?

24Report
Azrael at 7 Dec 2007: 16:39

>>22

To further clarify, most would bonk just about anything.

25Report
FurryFox at 7 Dec 2007: 17:33

>>24
hahaha i wont deny :p

(\/)
(O.o)
(>< )
/_|_\

26Report
at 7 Dec 2007: 18:57

Didn't the last thread debating the "gayness" of furry end with everyone agreeing that most furries were in fact bi and not 100% gay?

IIRC, the theory was thus:
Most furries are bi.
Most furries are male.
Therefore, there is a large ammount of percieved homosexual activity based on the large number of males who openly engage with other males.

27Report
at 7 Dec 2007: 21:21

>>26  

Yeah, that's what I meant by " at least primarily homosexual." I probably could have been clearer.   >_o

28Report
at 8 Dec 2007: 00:19

If you don't masturbate to a ahrd throbbing cock in your ass, or imaginign a hard throbbing cock in your ass, you're not gay.


It's pretty simple, but I'll put it steps since some people here are apparently quite special.

1. Is a penis, or a penis substitute, currently residing, or has resided within the last day, within your anus? GAY

2. Have you, within the last day, masturbated to an image of two real human males doing the act described in #1? GAY

3. Have you, within the last day, masturbated to a work of art with a character of the same gender as yourself, but have committed neither #1 nor #2? NOT GAY

29Report (sage)
at 8 Dec 2007: 00:42

Later, Rinse, Repeat.

"All Furry fans are gay."

"No they're not. You're wrong. [Reams of anecdotal and statistical evidence refuting the statement, indicating that the majority are heterosexual. Reasoned argument and verifiable historical facts indicating that while Furry Fandom has a higher percentage of gay oriented people than society at large, the larger majority are essentially straight.]"

"Okay. They're all Bi, then- which is the same as gay. See? I was right!"

Give it a rest, guys. Some myths might be widely believed by those that don't know any better or are deliberately ignorant, but they're still myths.

30Report
at 8 Dec 2007: 00:52

>>28

What. So I'm gay if my lady likes to use a strap on? No.

Besides, your logic fails to take into account the possibility that said person doing said things are also doing the same with images of the opposite sex. That is what we call BI.

31Report
at 8 Dec 2007: 01:03

Please stick to the question from the first post. All this debate over statistics isn't helping me any. Since we seem to be on the "gay" subject so strongly, we don't some of the gay people posting  respond to the first post from a gay perspective. I believe that would be most informative to those who are reading this post. Also try to include how you found out you were gay, and when you realized it. I'm not telling straight people not to post, I just noticed that what was being posted wasn't very constructive. If you have something to post that is actually constructive in relations to the first post, by all means post it.

     Once again I feel like my thread has been hijacked. :(

32Report
at 8 Dec 2007: 02:35

>>31

"Once again I feel like my thread has been hijacked. :("

Welcome to the internet! :P

33Report
Sye at 8 Dec 2007: 17:56

I do not mean to shoot down your topic here, but a web board is not the best place to seek advice. You can get one strangely popular answer and then "I am Spartacus!" happens. Find a few intelligent friends to have a chat with. Some people you trust.

34Report
at 9 Dec 2007: 00:44

>>30


Uhh, yeah, you are gay if you let your lady use a strap on on you, it's just quite repressed. Because deep inside, you'd know that you wouldn't mind a guy doing it to you also, and even if you deny it, it's true.

Bisexuality doesn't exist when you go as far as pretending a girl is a guy to get you off, sorry.

35Report
Sen at 9 Dec 2007: 02:33

>>1
My only advice is that when it comes to your own identity, never let anyone else tell you who or what they think you are.

It's hard, yes, because you want answers. But in the end, only you can give yourself your identity. Answers won't really help much, because nobody else knows you better than you know yourself.

36Report
at 9 Dec 2007: 06:01

>>34

Way to show your ignorance, buddy.

37Report
at 9 Dec 2007: 10:51

>>34
yeah, that's bollocks. liking a cock-shaped object up the ass doesn't make you gay, it just means you enjoy taking a cock-shaped object up the ass. it's just a sensation that a person enjoys, it has nothing to do with which gender they are attracted to. hell, i'm sure a lot more straight men would enjoy being fucked by a girl wearing a strapon if they could get over the whole gay thing.

38Report
at 10 Dec 2007: 01:37

Basically, if I like onion powder in my chili, does that mean I like to eat onions? No. I just like the flavor, not the thing itself.

Stupid analogy? Yes. Does it work? Probably not.

39Report
at 10 Dec 2007: 08:55

>>38
Onion powder is onion. You are eating onions, like it or not. :)

40Report
at 10 Dec 2007: 09:15

>>38

No, it's a sound analogy. There are several qualities that onions have that onion powder does not; i.e. crunchiness, moisture, layers, shape... that's all I can think of off the top of my head.

41Report (sage)
at 10 Dec 2007: 15:57

>>40

You are correct. Everything has an essence, and when you change it into something else, it is not the same. For instance, what is an egg? An egg has a shell and inside of it is a yolk and egg white (each with their own qualities). The shell is either white or brown. That is an egg. If you break the shell and cook it in a pan and scramble it, you have a scrambled egg. But then it is no longer an egg. It is a scrambled egg, as the qualities have changed.

Now, let's say you eat a kiwi fruit because it is almost shaped like an egg. That is even more far removed because there are even greater difference in quality between the kiwi fruit and the egg. So even though the shape is similar, they are not the same at all.

Not a perfect way of explaining, but if you do not understand, then I think you lost your brain somewhere.

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