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at 3 Apr 2006: 19:06
Hey there everyone, first time using this discussion board. Hope it'll work out alright. And I hope this is all o.k. to post up here.
I was just wondering if anyone knew of any support forums / live chats for people struggling with coming out. I've finally decided after two years of keeping myself hidden that I need to get out of the closet. It's been really hard on me the past couple of weeks. I haven't been sleeping well, I've become very short tempered and I've removed myself from many social situations with my friends and family. This isn't the first incident either, but by far the worst.
I've been trying to bring the topic up, but every time I try I choke up and don't say anything. Does anyone know of any forums or chats that would be able to help?
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at 4 Apr 2006: 00:49
Open notepad or whatever other word processing program you use, and type out what you've wanted to tell your family / friends / whomever else. Don't try to word it fancily either. Just type out your feelings, etc. exactly as you would say them.
Once you've typed everything you wanted to, print it out (if you have a printer), then fold it up, and put it somewhere where whoever you're trying to come out to will find it while they're not around. Could be in said person's bedroom, if you're dealing with family, and for friends, if necessary, slip the paper into an envelope, write the person's name on it, and put it in their mailbox.
Sure, there's a good chance they'll have questions after they read what you typed, but whatever they ask should be a lot easier to answer, after they know pretty much all of what you wanted to tell them.
I had a similar problem a while back, concerning where I work, and I ended up typing something in notepad, as I wouldn't have been able to talk to anyone directly about it.
Give it a try though. You may be surprised ;)
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at 4 Apr 2006: 02:09
No one online can really tell you what to do. Each person's experiences are going to be different, even if some are similar.
That said, there are things you can do in preparation. First off, how would your family react? Unless you know for sure they'll be okay with it, and perhaps even if you think you do know, you should prepare for the worst. Be self-sufficient financially and emotionally. If there's anything more troubling than your parents taking it badly, it's your parents taking it badly and kicking you out when you can't support yourself. You could also lose plenty of "friends" over it, so you best be prepared for that, too. I put "friends" in quotes because I don't consider people that'd push you away because of that real friends, but I digress.
You can always make more friends. Losing your family will hurt too, but you can get over it with real friends. Just make sure you can support yourself should they decide to cut you out.
Another thing to do in preparation, would be to make sure you know what you're talking about. There's nothing worse than getting asked a question you can't answer, and giving them the wrong idea. I have no idea what your friends and family are like, so I couldn't begin to recommend reading up on. But when you go into it, you *must* be ready for questions, and be confident in your answers. If you come across as unconfident, you'll appear to be unsure about what you're coming out as (and if it's truely what you are, you don't want to give them the idea that it's just a "phase" or that you're fooling yourself or something).
All that said and done, it's still up to you. Unfortunately I don't know where you can find support groups, without knowing what you're coming out as. Assuming you want to come out as gay/bi, you can probably do a Google search for local GLBT groups, and you can probably find people to talk to that way, perhaps even irl (which will be infinitely more helpful than online support).
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