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Serious Problem, I Need Advice!

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1Report
Crazy Ivan at 10 Mar 2008: 19:01

Okay, so here's what happened. I was at my dad's house this weekend, and I was enjoying my day. My mom decided to clean up my room while I was at my dad's. Well, she found my furry porn. She calls my dad and give him no hint as to what kind of porn it is, hell, she doesn't even say she found porn, only that she "needs to talk to [Name Omitted]". My dad immediately suspects its porn, and he doesn't care as of yet. So, I drive to my mom's house, and when I get there she starts talking and I really am not listening. Right up until she suggests a psychiatrist. I immediately snap and drive back to my dad's house. He gets angry and tells me I have to deal with this problem. So we both drive to my mom's house and I stay in the car to avoid speaking to her. once she shows my dad what the pictures were, all his support for me dissolves faster than a bolt in acid. He comes back to the car, and I assume that everything went well, but when we get to his house, he asks me into the garage. He goes into a rant about it being wrong and screwed up. Well, as much as I respect my dad, I could not help but feel angry at him. I respect the man more than anyone else, and here he is bashing my beliefs.
I just lied and said that I was in the process of deleting all of it and destroying the printouts that my mom had found, and he bought it. Well, that's the story. Now, I have chosen rather than going to my mom's house after classes, to hide at the library and ask fchan for advice. Tell me, has this happened to anyone before, and if so, how did you deal with it? I'll be here for about 20 minutes, and then I will have to face the insufferable woman. Please help me!

Signed,
Crazy Ivan

2Report
Crazy Ivan at 10 Mar 2008: 19:16

Damn it! Someone help! She's getting irratating. I had to turn off my cell phone, she won't stop calling me!!! HELP!

3Report
at 10 Mar 2008: 19:38

If you're old enough to driver yourself,
you should be outta there. Just my opinion.
And if you're 18 or over (like I assume most
Fchanners are) they really have no right
to snoop through your personal stuff.

4Report
at 10 Mar 2008: 20:04

>>1
Tell them to stop going through your personal stuff. If you want to tell the truth but still soften the impact then say you appreciate the aesthetics of the artwork and so you collect it for that reason. You'd just be omitting the fact you fap to it which they honestly don't want to hear about anyway most likely.

If my parents ever found my porn(which they wouldn't because I lock down my PC) then i'd just say I appreciate the art(which I do) and that i'm thinking of maybe finding a way to make money off the ideas(which I am)

5Report
at 10 Mar 2008: 20:05

Well don't expect to have them understand.  Uhh... just leave your stash at your own place from now on (if you have your own place that is).  For now, just try to make amends and don't collect furry art for a while...  and don't do anything stupid.  Good luck Ivan.

6Report
at 10 Mar 2008: 20:31

Never print your pron, and keep it in the bowels of your computer. Or even mask it, like your folders say 'Games' and you have a SNES emulator and an arcade emulator, then you have a folder to hold your games... when in reality, it's full of fuzzy things humping each other.

Internet stealth. *ninjadisappear*

7Report
at 10 Mar 2008: 21:15

>>6

Yep. Or better yet, put a freaking password on your computer or account.

Hindsight is 20/20, of course. You probably will have to educate your parents on human sexuality, now. Politely inform them that while you have a kink for animal-people, it does not define who you are and is not a disease that needs to be cured; the more twisted the material they found, the harder this will be to do. If you are a fan of cub porn or guro, well, you probably do need some measure of help. Otherwise, politely inform them that they do not have a right to dictate your sexuality to you and that the pictures were kept hidden for a reason.

You may be unfortunate enough to have parents that won't be willing to grasp these concepts and will remain distraught and judgmental. If this is the case you can't do anything but let it roll of your back and remember that they're trying to do what they think is best for you- as misguided as they may be.
 

8Report
at 10 Mar 2008: 21:29

My advice:  Indulge them.  Admit you might have a problem, and let them treat you as a victim and pay for a shrink.  Then fill your shrink in on how horrible furry and furry porn has messed up your life (IE: not at all, stupid parents aside) and he/she will give you a clean bill of mental health.  Take that to your parents, and say, "Gee, I guess I don't have a problem after all, hope the $200/hour was worth it." 

Then the next time they won't be so keen on labeling you mentally unstable for your choice in porn.  :)

9Report
at 10 Mar 2008: 21:45

Try to talk it out with them. Explain that hey, they've got their kinks, you have yours. You're (hopefully) a legal adult, and they have no right to tell you what to do. If thats too difficult, tell them, in the immortal words of Mr Gaylor, to "fuck off! I can make my own mistakes, you did"

10Report
at 10 Mar 2008: 22:20

Wow that sucks. I remember when I was 15 or so, one day I noticed a sheet of my furry pr0n drawings went missing. Turned out my mom found my bunny-girl shoving a carrot up her snatch. Ooops >.>

11Report
at 10 Mar 2008: 22:49

Ask your parents if they ever did anything their parents would've killed her for if they'd found out about it.

The difference between you and them is they managed to find yours while they got through to living away from home undiscovered.

12Report
Steven at 11 Mar 2008: 02:35

I keep mine on a password protected external hard-drive with all the other porn I have. The only people that really have mental issue's is the people who think it's weird or immoral to have furry porn on your computer. IE// Parents, trolls, and pastors. I'd say this: Ignore them, say you got better, do a few cartwheels and lock your door next time. >_>

13Report (sage)
at 11 Mar 2008: 03:00

put a fucking password on your computer, goddamit.    or...wait;, you PRINT this porn ?

14Report
AnonIhmus at 11 Mar 2008: 04:34

Tell them they had no business snooping in your things and that you'd have expected a little more trust out of them, being that you aren't a child. If she felt she needed to find out about you, she should have had enough respect and maturity to ask you face to face, instead of underhandedly going through your things without permission. Don't let her throw any crap your way about "my house" because your sexual life is none of her business no matter where it's happening.

Yes, she found sexual material, but regardless of how it may appear to her or your dad, it is perfectly -sane- and normal. Everyone has things they are into and as long as it harms no one, there is nothing wrong with it.

The only reason your porn became an issue in this case is because your mom violated your privacy and pulled it into the light where it didn't belong and made an issue out of it. State the obvious: You had it before and it didn't effect you badly until THEY made it an issue. Why should you suddenly need psychiatric treatment just because they found it? (Besides for the trauma of your parents invading such a private matter) Had they not found it, life would have gone on as usual and you'd still be just the same.

That kind of shit doesn't occur to most people until it's spelled out for them in their Alphabits.

Otherwise~~~ 8's suggestion was brilliant. Give em a 200/hour bill and afterwards ask them if their invasion of your privacy was worth it.

15Report
at 11 Mar 2008: 05:21

"Regardless of how it may appear to her or your dad, it is perfectly -sane- and normal" - That line of logic probably won't do him much good if his parents are hardcore churchies.

16Report
at 11 Mar 2008: 05:26

>>14
You are assuming parents play by the rules of logic and not blind extremist ignorance.

17Report
at 11 Mar 2008: 11:25

>>1

1. Your living with your parents so they have reign over you in THEIR HOUSE

2. Bashing your beliefs? How do you think your parents feel? lol

Protip

Get a job and move out, cause obviously your of age to look at porn.. which means you can get a job :)

18Report
at 11 Mar 2008: 11:26

>>16

blind extremist ignorance?

rofl you and about 90% of the fandom think this, and its bullshit, you shouldnt even be living with them after 18.

19Report
at 11 Mar 2008: 17:17

>>18
I don't "think" it, I KNOW it from experience. My parents were GREAT and I love them because they are extremely patient and logical minded people. However, I saw most of my friends parents in action and they were fucking crazy hypocrites who were ignorant to anything but their own extremist belief system.

20Report
neoteric#Hkvm72pkww at 11 Mar 2008: 17:24

I suspect my dad is either into fur or bestiality, my mom was angry one day and I casually asked what was up, and she said that she was just angry at my dad and his furry friends on the webternets.

Later, when i was 16 they found my sketchpads and used the search function on xp to find all images. she blamed him for infecting my mind.

woot woot

21Report
at 11 Mar 2008: 17:37

>>20

Probably fake, but satisfying just the same.

22Report
Crazy Ivan at 11 Mar 2008: 23:31

I thank you for your poor attempt to help me, but for your information, I do have a job, but paying for college is putting too much strain on my cash. I do not have the money to move out, as much as I wish I did...but after I'm done getting my degree in culinary arts and restaurant ownership, I will be leaving. The only reason I am able to send this message right now is because I still have my PSP. Anyway, things have fallen back to a half normal situation, but the tension is still there. Thanks for trying.

23Report
123 at 12 Mar 2008: 01:41

I don't know if there are any easy answers.  Furry porn neither good nor bad; however, it's affect on you can be good or bad.  Being too much this or that is always a fine line.  An interest in furry porn can become an obsession and if you start spending too much time and attention on this to the point where important aspects of your life are neglected then it's a problem.  Also,  some porn  depicts situations that were they to be carried out in real life with people would be immoral or very questionable at the best; my point being that as long as you have a firm understanding of the difference between right and wrong (to the best of your personal ability) and understand that it would be wrong to carry out certain acts in life, as opposed keeping them contained in fiction then there is a precedent for believing that no wrong has taken place.  The danger, and I think this cuts right to the root of your parents concern, is that you must be careful how you perceive and what you think since it can be a very slippery slope from indulging in fictional immoralities to the real thing.  It must also be noted that many of the more abstract aspects of the furry fandom that give it its appeal are overlooked by those not familiar with it: The desire to experience life as another creature, a love of nature and of animals, to be part of other worlds/realities, the desire for companionship, the need to belong, the want of love, sex, and adventure, etc., perhaps exacerbated by a feeling of unbelonging or dissatisfactions with one's life in he real world....these are qualities that attract people such as you or I to to the furry fandom.  Instead, recent publicity has caused many non-furs to view the fandom from as a group with an interest in bestiality or as simple being sex addicts.  There is no doubt that interest in sex is a big part of the fandom but the same can be said the whole of humankind throughout history.  As for beastiality--well, I think doing it with an animal is gross...that doesn't make it immoral, just gross.  Point is , it's all a matter of perspective coupled by what actions you take in real life.  If the cumulative sum of your thoughts and actions bring about a better state of wellness then I think it can be fairly stated that, overall, things are well; if the opposite applies then you must examine why things have gone wrong and do your best to right wrongs.  Sometimes there are no easy answers and sometimes there is more than one answer.  You must find the truth within yourself--and believe me, I know that can be very hard to do sometimes.  Deal with your parents in the way you think is the best.  If you know they love you and care about you then keep in mind that they mean well.  I think they should respect your privacy since they probably expect no less from you towards them--and you should let them know that.  As for the rest, sometimes people must agree to disagree.  Looking into a person's belongings is a akin to looking into their mind.  Your parents were obviously distraught by what they learned and concerned for you over what they believe to be a sign of mental maladjustment.  Of course, if you had access into their minds one has to wonder whether you might have similar feelings over some of their interests/thoughts.  Humans are angel-beasts--with potential to be good and bad alike and all it comes down to is the choices you make.  I don't think it's right to say automatically that "furry porn=bad, end of story"--there's more to it than that.  Anyway, my two cents--another perspective for you to ponder over.

24Report
at 12 Mar 2008: 01:42

>>20 "used the search function on xp to find all images"

ACLs are your friends.  Know them. Love them.

25Report
Bizzle at 12 Mar 2008: 02:01

The best recovery I can think of is to say to them, "Man, this is nothing.  Yeah, it's messed up, but you should just be happy that I didn't get into the kind of shit a lot of folks on the internet get off to."  Then give them an online tour of places like Ebaum's World, Something Awful, 4chan, and any other place that you can find shitting dick nipples.  They'll be horrified, perhaps even enough to make them stop and think.

>>20  ZOMG!!!  It's hereditary!

26Report
n44 at 12 Mar 2008: 02:24

>>25
This is the best explanation I've ever heard, ever. EVER.
--
It's true, there are worser things to be into than furry porn. Like, posting goaste and train pictures on every page of a website . Or dick girls. Wait, what/

27Report
at 12 Mar 2008: 04:53

>>25
Yeah, jerking off to cartoon animals doesn't so bad when there's stuff like scat porn on the Internet. Not cute. Not sexy. AT ALL.

I hide all my Fifi, Brandy, whatever porn on an USB flash drive secured with 448-bit encryption. Then I hide my USB flash drive! Never print out your porn. Always clear your temp and Internet history.

28Report
at 12 Mar 2008: 11:11

Ok, that is a bit too much unless your one of the "tin hats" paranoids or you work for the CIA.

But the lesson is simple, hide and protect your stuff or don't download it at all, watch in on the Internet only. Yes it eats up bandwidth but its more secure, just remember to clear Internet history. 

29Report
Samhuinn at 12 Mar 2008: 12:09

My parents are the sorts that would laugh and go "Whatever, son. Man, you're weird." and let it go. My parents rock. :>

However, if I had parents like that, I'd just lie. It's probably too late for that, but I would tell them that I keep this stuff around to 'surprise link' people ("hey, check out this link to this video game trailer!" and the link leads to porn), or maybe because you like to use it as an example when talking to friends about 'what's wrong with youth' these days. Tell them it grosses you out just as much as it grosses them out.

Unfortunately, I think it's too late. They probably wouldn't buy it by now.

30Report
at 12 Mar 2008: 13:41

There really is only one main issue here: You seem to be in a social contract with your parents.  They can dictate as part of the terms of your loose contract that you not peruse furry porn while you stay in their house.  However, I do not believe that they can make a strong moral argument against furry pornography.

Sex with animals might be wrong because animals cannot at this time give informed consent (at least in my moral framework) but viewing of artistic depictions of furries or animals engaged in sexual behavior does not suffer from the same problem.  Unless they can give some sort of clear evidence that viewing the pornography violates some moral duty (I prefer theories not based on inflicting harms), it is morally neutral at worst.

So to the extent that you are in a contract they can ask that you endure any terms they give (such as not viewing furry porn) and you can say yes or no.  I doubt they are savy enough in philosophy to give any strong argument to its immorality.

31Report
Benevolent Fur at 12 Mar 2008: 15:29

Ya, something similar happened to me, and now my mother thinks I'm gay...although thank the gods she didn't find out about my beloved yiff...i just went along with it.

Anyhow, the only thing that one could do in this situation is to either lie, or admit that you enjoy yiff. BUT: DO NOT TELL THEM ABOUT F/CHAN, DO NOT CALL IT YIFF, FURRY, OR ANYTHING ELSE REGARDING THIS PARTICULAR...FETISH...

Why? So that narrow minded individuals that could potentially ruin the furry society will never know about us.

32Report (sage)
at 12 Mar 2008: 16:38

>>31

"Why? So that narrow minded individuals that could potentially ruin the furry society will never know about us. "

lol.

33Report
at 12 Mar 2008: 19:07

A long time ago, my sister found my stash of porn, and that was damn embarrassing. And it was "normal, softcore" porn, of pretty blonde girls posing, not cartoony anthropomorphic animals. Haha, my friend once found my stash, too. That is why I NEVER print anything out anymore. But both my friend and my sister understood. I mean, come on, I was a teenager.

Man, I can't imagine what would happen if my friends or family found my collection of naughty Fifi pics, though. Probably get ostracized, lol.

34Report
Friendly at 12 Mar 2008: 21:00

Nobody asked the poster here if he's a minor.  That's funny.

I have two answers.

Answer one is if you're a minor.

Then you don't belong here.  You're breaking the rules of this site.  How do you expect us to help you when you are not even legally supposed to be here?  What do you expect us to say? 

Answer two is if you are NOT a minor.

Okay.  You're an adult.  Tell them that they have no business going through your stuff behind your back, and tell them if they have a problem, they can talk to you directly.

But I suspect , having run my own forum and what not for awhile, that we're not getting the full story here.

35Report
at 12 Mar 2008: 22:32

Keep your furpr0nz in numbered zip files and
only take them out when your alone, lol.
only

36Report
at 12 Mar 2008: 22:49

>>31

What...? What...? Furry society? Get a grip, man.

37Report
shadowfox at 12 Mar 2008: 23:40

Funny my parent Hang my yiffy art in a Picture frame and its Cubby art XD .. Then again my parents are furrys... And its fucking cool ^_^ But you parents need help.. When my real dad told me its wrong i got so pissed i tossed a kitchen knife at him (No joking) Lucky for him my shot missed and He says im to dangours to go near him >> I Mean gawd was just a fucking Blade not like i lit a fire >> (then again im  also verfyed by the police Unstable and potenly dangours because i got mad and kicked this guys door open)

38Report
at 12 Mar 2008: 23:52

>>37

Sounds like somebody has anger management problems.  Protip: Next time you feel like kicking a door in, just don't. That's how the rest of us do it.

39Report
at 12 Mar 2008: 23:59

>>38
No, it just sounds like he needs to grow the fuck up.  And oh yeah, >>37, _you're_ the one who's lucky the knife didn't hit your old man, otherwise your ass would be doing time right now.

40Report
at 13 Mar 2008: 00:00

>>37 Your "parents" are furries?
I assume you're not talking about
your -real- parents, are you? lol.

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