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How to survive as a furry

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1Report
at 8 Dec 2011: 23:58

Rule 1: NEVER admit to being a furry on the internet, ANYWHERE, and surely as fuck do not ever admit to it in real life. I know it's not fair, but that's what happens when the minority ruins something for everyone else.

Rule 2: DO NOT make contact with other furries on the internet. And God help you if you make contact with one in real life. Furries are the worst kind of asshole and you do NOT need them in your life.

Rule 3: Enjoy the porn that you like, ignore the porn that you dislike. DO NOT become an ass-kissing zombie to the artists you like. Don't even contact them to tell them you like their work. This will only inflate their already massive ego further, making them more likely to fall into a fit of drama and making us look even worse. If you must give criticism to those who make something you don't like, be sure it's actual criticism and not "why is this so ugly?" or "you're not a real artist!" as that is NOT criticism and is the easiest way to ensure that not only do they never share anything with anyone ever again, but that they'll also go out of their way to comment on how assholish furries are every chance they get.

Rule 4: If you are an artist or writer, and feel that you must share your work, dump it online and leave it. Do not allow contact with those who may see it. Doing so is a surefire way to ensure that you'll die a misanthrope.

Rule 5: If and when a "furry" piece of media such as a video game or movie comes out, DO NOT ask the creators to turn it into porn. For example: DO NOT go on Nintendo's official message board and rant about how the next Super Smash Bros. needs a nude Krystal trophy. Doing so will ensure that you'll never see another entry in said franchise.

2Report(capped)
fchan#System at 9 Dec 2011: 01:27

Lets see if you can behave or not.

3Report
at 9 Dec 2011: 20:02

Seems like sound advice to me, >>1.

4Report
Falcon at 11 Dec 2011: 04:33

-Furries are the worst kind of asshole and you do NOT need them in your life.

It's fair to say most who come HERE are furry, so fchan should be a fair cross section to use as an example. Sure there's a bit of herp-derp, but there's also some cool cats here. If you can tell the difference (and are not agoraphobic), you should be able to bypass suggestion #2.

5Report
at 13 Dec 2011: 01:37

Rule 6: Stay away from furry fandom. If a teaspoon of excrement spoils 50 gallons of fine wine, then wading through a sea of excrement in hopes of discovering a teaspoon of unspoiled Bordeaux is certainly an exercise in futility.

Rule 7: The trolls are right. About everything. You can't claim you're not part of something negative when the group you belong to has no standards whatsoever.

Rule 8: Abandon furry "social media", join a non-furry group, pretend to be normal, foolishly be brave enough to share a brief positive rated-G comment about mainstream anthro characters once every few years (if you absolutely must), and hope to God they don't catch on. You let the pedo-bestiality and sado-mutilation freaks in and let them carry your banner? You share the guilt in everything they do and pay the price.

Rule 9: "Furry elite" is more than just an oxymoron -- it's a total divide by zero. Furries make the average ordinary blue-collar worker, who played high-school football in his youth, look like Chuck Norris by comparison. An "elite furry", by furry standards, socially tags along at the back of the pack of the unskilled laborers at WalMart.

Rule 10: Stop being a furry. Uncle Kage isn't a furry. He's a scientist who works for Dow Chemical. Being the lead organizer and chairman of the largest furry convention in the world is his HOBBY.

6Report
at 13 Dec 2011: 19:59

I would just like to utter disregard and contempt for the first rule and let you know that I'm a furry.

7Report
Norucabe at 17 Dec 2011: 03:13

>>5 You're obviously some fat nationalist redneck Murrican idiot who just hates furries... so kindly GTFO. Thanks.

8Report
at 18 Dec 2011: 13:29

>>7

This.

I think the person is probably one of those who think that being furry is a fad,well i got news for the person. I've been furry since 1996 and i'm not changing.

9Report
at 19 Dec 2011: 12:46

>>7

You're obviously some fat nationalist redneck Murrican idiot...

>>8
I've been furry since 1996...


Just pointing out furries' willingness to jump on the "critics are trolls" bandwagon. I rest my case.

10Report
at 20 Dec 2011: 00:30

Well...I certainly share some different beliefs, but I do understand that being a furry is hard, and does require "survival"

And my "survival" technique is done with one simple step:

Rule 1: Treat it like a sexuality, not a lifestyle. Also, for the benefit of not creeping your friends out, keep it to yourself

11Report
FoxTrot at 26 Dec 2011: 00:02

My brother and my best friend know o -o They make small jokes about it and I make small jokes about their odd fetishes. It dosnt bother us.

12Report
at 28 Dec 2011: 04:32

>>9
ahem...... the correct spelling is ahmurricen

13Report
at 19 Aug 2012: 07:36

>>5

All Rule 6 means, as far as I'm concerned, is that Sturgeon's Law (90% of everything is crap) applies as much to furry porn as anything else.

Also, I'm not furry myself, but I've already been abiding by Rule 3.  I love female/lesbian furry art; the good stuff, that is.

14Report
at 30 Aug 2012: 07:44

>>10
Not as funny, but Best Advice.

15Report
Jack at 2 Sep 2012: 04:06

The trick is realizing how incredibly absurd it is. Generally, if someone says, "Well, you're fucked up." I respond, "Must have been my childhood or something."

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